Railings
by ChooseToLive
Summary: Post AWE, AU. Elizabeth ponders the choices she faces.


Railings

Rating: G

Spoilers: general DMC. Post-AWE but no spoilers (that I know of!)

A/N: My very first Pirates fic, feedback is cherished. Many thanks to geekmama for the beta, and for the hours of enjoyment her stories have given me!

**o-o-o**

Elizabeth's gaze swept over the vast horizon, eyes pricking from the shards of sunlight reflected off the sea. Returning home from yet another grand adventure… one more tale to tell to her children one day. Yet the image didn't stir her heart so much as she imagined it should. All those months of fantasies of home and hearth seemed far removed now, so that she wondered how she had found them entertaining to begin with.

She felt more than saw Will settle next to her, leaning on the rail. She inhaled deeply, lips curving up as the warm breeze caressed her face. "Isn't it wonderful, Will? So peaceful and simple and powerful."

"Yes." She could see him out of the corner of her eye, watching the horizon, gaze intent, as if he were looking for something. "But soon we'll arrive at Port Royal… and it will be good to return home, to see your father again and finally be married."

Her contentment fled at his words, smile becoming brittle. "Yes."

He glanced over at her. "We should be married with all haste; we've been delayed long enough. There's no longer reason to tarry."

"I need a new dress," she reminded him, eyes remaining fixed on the horizon. "And all the decorations were ruined, everything shall have to be prepared again."

"Hang the decorations and all that nonsense." Will's voice was soft but passionate. "I only want you."

Her heart squeezed, making her chest hurt. What was this feeling, this dread, and why did it insist on tainting her relationship with Will? Why did any mention of the wedding send her searching for delays? "My father will insist on a celebration," she whispered through her tight throat. "We should wait for my complexion to be fair again, as well. I'm much too brown to be a proper lady."

A shadow passed over Will's face, and she saw his eyes flick towards the helm before coming back to her. "Of course. We can't have anyone thinking you're not a lady."

Elizabeth choked on a silent sob, and Will was gone before she could voice a protest.

**o-o-o**

"I don't know! I don't know what I want!" Elizabeth despaired, her hands flying about and betraying her frustration. She plopped against the deck rail and sighed.

Gibbs was silent for a moment, observing her as he pulled his flask from his vest. "Well," he said, facing the sea and taking a swig with deceptive nonchalance, "it seems to me you'd make quite a fine pirate."

She couldn't help a small smile. "I thought it was bad luck to have a woman aboard, Mr. Gibbs?"

"Oh, aye," he agreed. "But as the cap'n once said, sometimes it's worse luck not to."

"Did he indeed?" Amusement began to light her gaze, and she let her eyes wander over to the helm, only to find Jack staring back at her. Startled and disconcerted, she turned back to the sea, staring ahead.

Gibbs continued, unaware of the tension in the young woman beside him. "Aye, 'twas Ana Maria, it was, though she has as much scrap as any man…"

**o-o-o**

Elizabeth walked towards the bow, her stride adjusting effortlessly to the increased rise and fall of the deck beneath her as she approached her destination. Her fingers trailed lightly over the Pearl's railing, a smile curving her lips at the texture of the smooth, polished wood.

Reaching the bow and looking out over the wooden lady leading the Pearl, she kept her hands on the rail, not for balance or rest but simply for the pleasure of the fine grain and lacquer against her skin. The water stretched out before her eyes, the Pearl moving in harmony with the waves, Elizabeth moving in harmony with the Pearl.

"She likes you, love."

Jack's murmur didn't startle her, though his approach had been silent, as much a part of his ship as any of her fittings.

"I like her," Elizabeth returned softly, looking down at her fingers caressing the wood. "I'm starting to understand what you mean, Jack. She's more than the things she's created from. I can almost feel her becoming part of me."

He leaned out over the rail, the wind pushing gently at his hair, teeth glinting in the moonlight. "Aye. She takes on many lovers, the Pearl. An' she's a jealous mistress."

Elizabeth looked at him a bit curiously. "Jealous?"

Jack turned his grin to her, shifting to lean back lazily on the rail. "She don't share with land, love."

Elizabeth felt a little tremor up her spine, and she turned her attention back to the ship beneath her, a bit of caution now shading her touch. Yet even as she tried to withdraw, she felt Pearl inside of her, wind rushing through her veins and whispering sweet nothings in her ear. Every day the promise of land, of 'home' and Port Royal, weighed heavier on her heart while the sea sang of freedom. It might not be wise to allow the Pearl her hold, yet Elizabeth couldn't find the will to resist.

**o-o-o**

They were anchored in a cove a few miles from Port Royal, the longboat being lowered to take Will and Elizabeth ashore. Elizabeth watched, feeling the weight on her grow heavier and heavier until finally she spoke. "Will…"

Will came to her and took her hands, his big brown eyes meeting hers, the light of hope in them. "Yes?"

She met them, gathering her courage. "I'm not going ashore, Will."

The light began to fade in his eyes, grieving her heart. "What? But… why? You must, Elizabeth, your father is there… I'm there." The last was a whisper.

She felt tears gather in her eyes, the truth hurting her as she knew it would hurt him. "My heart isn't," she replied softly. "Will, I dread returning home. I'll… I'll die there. I need to be free… and freedom is the Pearl. I want to stay with her."

"Stay with Jack, you mean," Will hissed.

Elizabeth shook her head. "It's not about Jack, I assure you. I… I care for him, yes, but it's the sea I'm following." She pressed a letter into Will's hand. "Please give this to my father. I don't want him to worry, nor you. Jack will take care of me, Will, you know it, and should I ever decide to return you know he'll bring me back."

Will's eyes were hard and bright, bitterness struggling to mask the hurt. "But you won't return."

Her voice was soft. "I don't expect to. Not to stay."

He turned his head aside quickly, an attempt to hide an escaping tear. He clutched at the letter, the paper creasing beneath his tense fingers. Then she saw him breathe deeply and straighten, and turn back to her. He took her hand and kissed it, proper as any gentleman. "I wish you all happiness, Miss Swann," he whispered, eyes soft and sincere once again. "Goodbye."

He had turned away before her farewell met the air, and she bit her lip against the internal ache as she watched him descend the ladder into the longboat, shouting for them to cast off.

Yet as she saw the longboat drawing closer to shore, the truth of her decision began to wash over her. She could feel constraint loosening from around her, enabling her to breathe easier, to move more freely. Relief.

She felt him behind her before she heard him. "You're sure about this, then?"

Turning to face him, she smiled, freedom singing through her veins, wind and the sea and the Pearl and Jack. "Yes," she said, more sure of her words than of anything else before. "I'm a pirate."

fin


End file.
